defending the American

I just got back from dinner with two of my students.
To be honest, I didn't even know who they were until one of them emailed me a couple of weeks ago. She wrote to say that she hoped I would be "happy everyday" and that she was having a difficult time studying for my midterm exam because she doesn't pay attention in class. She closed the email with: "I hope we can become very good friends!"

(Not the best way to make friends with your teacher, if you ask me!)

In an effort to overcome the tiny grudge I've secretly held against her since her electronic slight, I accepted her invitation to eat dinner with her and her friend. Of course, she turned out to be very sweet - and while not the best student, I can see how she could become a very good friend.

However, we did hit a rough spot tonight when she tried to tell me about the differences between Chinese and American restaurant cultures.

"When Chinese people go out to a restaurant, we usually try to get our own room so we can have privacy and no one will see us. But when you Americans go out to eat, you choose a table where everyone can see you."

I fired back with a fusillade of head shakes and a hearty, "NO! That's not true!"
If her English was a little better, and if anger hadn't had the effect of paralyzing my tongue, I might have asked if she had ever eaten at a restaurant in America, or at least have explained why I felt so insulted.

I criticize the American government so much in class that I worry what the Peace Corps would think if it knew, and there I was, getting all huffy puffy when she, a non-American, benignly attacks my country.

I hadn't realized how sensitive I was about America's reputation, especially the reputation of "the American people" - you know, those glorious human beings who don't honk their horns every two seconds when they drive? Those free-thinking individuals who, when they buy groceries or board buses, stand in orderly lines rather than push and shove and cut people off? Those wonderful people who don't leave wads of spit everywhere?

Its so easy to take things personally, especially when comparisons often come phrased with "our China" and "your America." And it's hard not to do it in reverse - to wrongly accuse ALL of China of having a honking, shoving and spitting problem.

Is this how nationalism is born?