apathetic to apathy

I saw THREE kids sleeping in one of my Oral English classes today.
I almost went ballistic.
It took all the nerve I had not to drag each one out of the room by the ear.

I calmed down, though, because it's always the same three who contaminate the classroom with their apathy. I already sing and dance, what else do they want?? A nap, they want a nap. They probably want me to stop all my edutainment stunts so they can nap more peacefully.

The sad thing is that, as the weeks go by, I feel myself becoming more apathetic toward their apathy. I use to yell, my eyes used to twitch and bulge, and I would show them the big zeros I was writing for them in my grade book. Now, I do my best to ignore them, knowing that while an explosion of anger will certainly ruin their dreams, it will also ruin the rest of my day.

Have I given up on them? Perhaps, but if they're not going to meet me half way, why should I jump through hoops for them? But am I expected to go out of my way for them? Is it my job? Basically, the dilemma is: to care or not to care.

I feel bad for kids like Jany. She sits in the front and stares at me with her big eyes, eager to absorb everything I dribble out. And what does she get? A grumpy teacher.


I try not to play favorites, but there is one class that outshines the rest. Just so happens it's immediately before my dreaded apathetic class.

Today in this golden class, I happened to take a peek at a student's script for their horror skit.
The line that caught my eye went something like this:

Mr. Yuan: "Oh fuck it! Holy shit, shit, it's a ghost!"

"Um, you can't say that in front of the class, okay?"
"Okay, Kacie. Are those words too informal?"
"Yes, well, sort of. I'll tell you about them later."

Lol, can't you see why I like them?